How to contact a Domme
Many potential subs get this wrong but here's a very simple guide how to contact a dominant Woman.
I've been a pro Domme since 2000 and it's frustrating wading through time wasters to find honest, respectful subs. A good 70% of people who contact, never conclude. I get it, your ego is fragile but wasting anyone's time is rude. We request deposits upfront to confirm a session for good reason. Would you flake on your bank manager or doctor? We're therapists and deserve to be treated with the same respect as any professional. So please, if you're not quite ready for the real thing, don't waste Our time. Stick to porn and playing with your pathetic plonker.
As in the pics, I used to advertise in magazines such as DDI and Domand (out of date contact details), even shop windows (I know!) but you can now find a huge array of Dominant and fierce women online to tickle your pickle. Do you seek a latex clad Goddess? Scat Queen? Bratty Findom? Medical expert? Someone to bum you into next week? Do your research, there's someone for everyone.
men are generally simple creatures who rely on imagery for stimulation but it's up to you to do your homework. Numerous subs complain about Dommes who have wonderful fetish pictures but during session, couldn't Dom their way out of a soggy bag or know nothing of BDSM, psychology or safety . Beware scammers and catfishes but use the big brain in your head, not the little one in your pants. Get to know what kind of Domme suits you by reading different websites and Their social media pages to get a clearer understanding of what She specialises in and if you are compatible. (For the record, my personal favourites are sissification, impact play, role play, foot play, strap-on and anal play.)
Contacting a Domme properly is incredibly simple; be clear and polite. No need to compose a lengthy essay but you're going to require more than “fuck my ass?”. Is this your first real life session? Are you an experienced player? What are your kinks? What are you interesting in exploring? What are your hard limits? When would you like to session? For how long? We're smart Women and require information to tailor your potential session.
Going into session or sub speak during initial communication is a no-no. Manners are appreciated but grovelling, talking about yourself in the fantastical third person or being full of empty platitudes is a red flag. Do you do your job for free? Also, never try to negotiate Her tribute. It's incredibly bad form.
Don't approach with entitlement. you might have loads of money (well done you) but that doesn't mean We'll accept you if you're an arrogant prick. (I recently snubbed a super rich sub. Two million Instagram followers, blue tick, expensive lifestyle etc. No manners and approached with massive privilege. I like money but take this shit seriously and would rather keep my integrity than deal with that kind of arrogance.)
So, you've been clear and polite and the fierce Woman of your dreams has offered you to session with Her! Woohoo! When She requests I.D. for screening or a deposit, do it. Holding off or making excuses sends you down into the abyss with the other wankers. We're professional and respect your anonymity but screen for our own protection and safety, respect that. Now you've been approved and booked, don't don't clog up Her time with inane messages before the session. She has a life that doesn't evolve around you. Whatever you do, don't send an unsolicited picture of your daft penis. We've seen plenty and they're not particularly impressive.
Before the session, shower properly, pull your foreskin back and clean it thoroughly and brush your teeth. Nobody likes a manky sub. It's completely natural to be nervous but try deep breathing to calm yourself. Turn up exactly at the agreed time (too early can be as annoying as too late), offer the agreed tribute (and ideally a small gift), do as you're told and have a wonderful time!
If you're unable to session in real life, assist Her in other ways. Comment, like and retweet on social media, subscribe to Only Fans, try online sessions, buy clips, send wishlist items, send tips, LIFT HER UP!
Good subs acknowledge that very few genuinely dominant Women exist.
Great subs make Their world a better place.